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  • Alyssa Abrahamson

What is toxic positivity and do you do it?

Have you heard the term “toxic positivity”?

The culture of toxic positivity is to portray yourself as always happy no matter what.

Do you find yourself repeatedly saying, “it’s all good” even when it really isn’t?

With toxic positivity, you feel pressure to keep positive and act like everything is okay, despite emotional pain, sadness, or overwhelm.

The “positive vibes only” trend showing up all over social media, is actually toxic positivity.

Fortunately, also showing up are posts reminding us, “It’s okay to not be okay.”

I agree. It is okay to not be okay.

The question for many is, how is it possible to only look on the bright side when there’s so much negativity in the world?

I say, how is it not possible to look for the light in the darkness while acknowledging and recognizing the complexity of it all?

What is positivity anyway?

The dictionary definition of positivity is, “the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.”

What? Positivity is a practice?

Yes! Positivity is not something that you are, but rather, positivity is something you do.

Positivity is making an effort to fully feel, experience, and prolong emotions that feel good.

When you practice positivity, it’s about intentionally spending time focusing on those authentic positive emotions.

It’s not about ignoring or pushing away negative or hurtful feelings with “it’s all good."

Rather, it’s about validating, nurturing, and allowing yourself to feel and move through emotions that are deflating and defeating while also embracing those feelings that have the potential to uplift and inspire you.

I’m advocating for you to feel your feelings.

I’m also advocating that you practice focusing on gratitude and the positivity in your life.


Because having a positive outlook is incredibly beneficial to your wellbeing.

Having an optimistic mindset makes you more resilient to stress.

Research shows that positive thinking and cultivating positive emotions is correlated with boosting the immune system and supports physical health such as lower blood pressure, less heart disease, more balanced weight, and healthier blood sugar levels.

It’s okay not to be positive all the time; it’s not even possible.

The attempt to constantly stay positive becomes toxic when you deny yourself the ebb and flow of your feelings.

But I am encouraging you to choose something positive in your life to be grateful for and to focus on, at least for a few minutes, if not more, on a daily basis.

For helpful tips with that, check out my recent post Boost Immunity through Mindset.

Love, Your Wellness Coach,


P.S. Looking for guidance, accountability, and support with making positive changes? Reply back to this email to set up a FREE 30 minute Connection Call to learn more.

September 29, 2020



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